Thursday, December 3

Just Who Am I Supposed to Be? Guest post

I am so happy to share with you a post from a special friend, K. M. (Katie) Weiland. Enjoy!

Just Who Am I Supposed to Be?

It had been a bumpy week. People I didn’t even know seemed intent on jabbing needles of disdain and belittlement into the vulnerable balloons of my confidence and self-worth. Words like failure, runner-up, and loser clattered through my brain like cars on a runaway train. I stood in front of the mirror, scrubbing away at my teeth, and it hit me, once again, that I don’t fit into a mold. I’m not what people expect me to be. I’m not what they want me to be. Maybe I’m not even what I’m supposed to be.

Before we’re old enough to say our first words, we’re already struggling to conform to people’s expectations. We’re supposed to fit a certain pattern, achieve certain things, turn out a certain way. We’re all striving toward a plateau of preconceptions. We’re supposed to be brilliant and beautiful and wealthy and angelic. We’re supposed to leave a mark on the world—become four-star generals or CEOs or soccer moms. We’re supposed to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, think a certain way.

So we either quash our individuality and fall in line or we keep tromping through the underbrush off the beaten path and risk the misunderstanding—and sometimes downright venom—of those who reject our differences. What is it about human nature that wants so desperately to be different, to be individual—and yet also needs to gain the approval of the world?

The discouragement and criticism of others makes us take a painful step back, makes us look at ourselves and wonder if we turned out the way we were supposed to. Did I take a wrong turn, Lord? Did the road signs I thought I saw so clearly really point the way I thought they did? Am I right to be the way I am—or should I listen to the dissenting voices screaming at me as I plod along this path? Have I become the person You want me to be?

And, there, in that last question, is an answer absolutely stunning its clarity and power. We’re not supposed to be the person the world wants us to be. We’re not supposed to conform to their ideas of excellence. God made each of us with a perfect purpose in mind, and all we have to concentrate on is fulfilling it. Whether the people around us understand every one of our choices, whether they shake their heads at our folly, isn’t what matters.

After spitting out my toothpaste and propping my toothbrush back on the cabinet, I trudged over to my computer to check email before going to bed. Amidst the usual pile of spam and social sites updates, the Lord had two amazingly encouraging messages waiting for me. I could hardly have asked for a clearer affirmation of His sovereignty in my life.

It was as if He were saying, “Fulfill the purpose I give you. Live each day up to My expectations. If I ask you to be different, if I ask you to walk a road the rest of the world thinks is ridiculous, why should that discourage you? You’re supposed to be who I made you to be. And that is enough.”

If we hope to live up to the expectations of the 6.7 billion other people in the world, we’re likely to spend the rest of our lives frustrated, heartsick, and downtrodden. But fulfilling the expectation of the One who made us and loves us? Now, there’s a challenge we might just be able to tackle!

If you enjoyed hearing from Miss Katie, you can visit her on her sites,, Wordplay, or the site she shares with two other special writers at AuthorCulture.

23 Responses
  1. K.M. Weiland Says:

    Thanks so much for having me today, Lynn!

  2. What a lovely way to be yourself. Live for God's eyes only.

  3. K.M. Weiland Says:

    In the end, He's the one Who matters. Living up to Him is a life's work in itself, without throwing unreasonable expectations from others.

  4. Linda Yezak Says:

    I needed this today--have for awhile. Thanks, Katie!

    And thank you, Lynn!

  5. K.M. Weiland Says:

    That's what's so ironic about this individuality thing... At some point or another, I think we *all* feel pressured to be something other than what we are.

  6. Marja Says:

    Thanks Katie/Lynn for a wonderful post! As a european frequently residing in Southern California I guess I am used to being different, haha! I don't bleach my teeth, I don't straighten my hair, I don't do my nails, I don't wear make-up and I have a small cup B....
    But I KNOW who I am in Jesus Christ and that gives me a confidence that the world can never give!!!

  7. K.M. Weiland Says:

    Hooray for Marja! You get to be my hero for today. :) (And, judging from the teeny little profile pic, your hair looks fabulous curly!)

  8. MaryGrace Says:

    So beautifully said, Tarin, and so true. Thank you for sharing.

  9. K.M. Weiland Says:

    You're very welcome, MaryGrace. I'm glad you got something out of it.

  10. At-a-girl! Live like the rest of us "right-fielders" who stand out in a crowd, but most importantly, LIVE!!!

    God does have purpose for our lives. He made us different to keep others from sticking HIM into a box.

    We don't fit a mold, but we fit in His hands.

    Gotta love that!

  11. I loved this post. I enjoyed how you put an area that so many of us struggle with:)

  12. K.M. Weiland Says:

    @Ginger: "We don't fit in a box, but we fit in His hands." That's beautiful!

    @Terri: I think we're all "closet sufferers," no matter how confident we are. I'm glad the post spoke to you.

  13. Many of us share these thoughts, however Lynn you expressed these thoughts beautifully and rounded out the thoughts with the savior. The one we all must ultimately please. Well done!

  14. K.M. Weiland Says:

    Thanks, Stroke! I'm pleased you got something out of my post.

  15. Beautifully expressed, Katie! I had a moment like this in my mid-20s when I finally realized I didn't have to conform to the image others had designated for me. It was a struggle to get certain "others" to accept my individuality, and even today as I near 40, those same people sometimes try to reign me back in. However, I am who the Lord designed me to be, and I love it!

  16. K.M. Weiland Says:

    There will always be people who don't "get" us. And, sadly, it's often those closest to us who struggle with the fact that we're not always the way they want us to be. It's a lesson I'm learning for myself: "Love people where they're at, not where you want them to be."

  17. Shaddy Says:

    I agree. Who wants to be what others think they should be? If that's a person's focus and intent, he's not truly living.

    God made each of us uniquely different. If we use the gifts we've been given according to the voice within and remain in accordance to God's will, we'll come out a winner every time.

    The world's perception of us will be insignificant if we place the appropriate value on it.

  18. K.M. Weiland Says:

    You said it, Shaddy! And thank God we *are* unique. Can you imagine how boring the world would be otherwise? I'm much prouder of my differences than my similarities to other people.

  19. And see how I let my uniqueness shine by using the wrong word in a blog comment, realizing it in the middle of the night, and obsessing over it until I got on here to fix it? "Reign" should be "rein" - there, I feel better now. Ooh! It inspired my next blog post. Really, I'm ok with who I am! ;)

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  22. mimicron Says:

    This is an excellent article, thank you very much for it